BackboneAmerica

One-sided victory in Radio Bowl LXXI

Since we all know that nothing “super” ever came out of Detroit,
many Coloradans spent the late afternoon and early evening
on this winter Sunday tuned to 710 KNUS when talk-show John
became sportscaster John to call the play by play for…

RADIO BOWL LXXI
Political World Championship
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LIBERTY vs. LIBERALISM
Before a throng at the town cow pasture in
Backbone Colorado USA
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Playing for the coveted
Tocqueville Trophy
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Liberty, the defending champion,
started Dutch Reagan at quarterback.
Their coach is Tom Jefferson.
———————————————
Liberalism went with a game plan
by coaches Chuck Darwin & Ziggy Freud.
Fran Roosevelt was their lefty-throwing QB.

Team Liberty retained the Tocqueville Trophy in a convincing win over Team Liberalism. The scoring summary, based on our previously posted outline for today’s edition of “Backbone Radio with John Andrews,” went as follows:

** First period, House Minority Leader Joe Stengel passed for two TD’s and ran for another. Liberty 21-0.

** Second period, Marine Sgt. Brian “Gunny” Ivers threw long twice to Major Mike Coffman. Liberty 35-0 at halftime.

** Third period, State Sen. Sue Windels booted the Jones bill through the uprights on a wobbler to get Liberalism on the scoreboard. But Sen. Jones answered with a field goal of his own, and researcher Pam Benigno kicked another. Liberty 41-3.

** Fourth period, Prof. Andy Busch hit Barry “The Ghost” Goldwater on a post pattern for yet another Liberty touchdown, but when columnist George Will threw errantly to John McCain in the end zone, Howard Dean ran back the interception 101 yards to score.

With just seconds remaining, Jessica Corry, coming in at tailback on a women-eligible play, bulled in for the game’s final score, dragging Wellington Webb and Al Yates across the goal line with her. Final score, Liberty 55, Liberalism 10.

Bill Buckley and Hank Brown shared MVP honors for the victorious Team Liberty. “Oddest nominee” distinction for the defending champs’ roster was a tie between William Howard Taft, Matt Dunn’s pick, and P. J. O’Rourke, the joker in Beth Skinner’s deck. Neither saw action in today’s game.

At the time of this posting, Al Gore was reported to be filing a federal court appeal of the game’s results. Make plans now to join us in February 2007 for Radio Bowl LXXII.