BackboneAmerica

Memo to Tom: Be a Street Fighter

At the May 3 debate, imagine if Tom Tancredo had said: “When I am the Republican nominee for President, I will certainly consider choosing Senator McCain as my Vice President. The kind of running mate I’m looking for is a war hero like John McCain, or a crime-fighter like Rudy Giuliani, or a defender of traditional values like Mitt Romney.”

Our Colorado Congressman, bidding for the White House with scant chance of winning but a good chance for leverage over the immigration issue if he stays aggressive, landed a few jabs Thursday but didn’t hit his opponents with the kind of body blows it’s going to take. Mike Littwin, though distastefully snide as usual, had a point in his May 8 column on this.

My fantasy comeback about McCain for VP was there for the taking after the senator curtly said no to a question about his accepting Tom for VP. The trick is to use any question or topic, no matter what, for a zinger on the immigration issue and America’s “mortal danger,” as Tancredo’s book title has it. Even the organ donor question mentioned by Littwin could be flipped to: “We won’t have a country at all to debate such questions unless…”

I urged Tom before his May 5 speech in Denver to load his iPod with “Street Fighting Man” by the Rolling Stones, and make that the campaign theme song from now on. We played some of the song on radio May 6. With apologies to Mick Jagger, here are the adapted lyrics:

Ev’rywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
‘Cause summer’s here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a [border hawk] do
Except to [barnstorm Iowa and New Hampshire]
‘Cause in sleepy [DC] town
There’s just no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Think the time is right for [an immigration] revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Well, then what can a poor boy do
Except to [shake up every debate]
‘Cause in [sanctuary Denver] town
There’s no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Said my name is called disturbance
I’ll shout and scream, I’ll [zing the Prez], I’ll rail at all his [allies],
Well, what can a poor boy do
Except to [gamble for all the marbles]
‘Cause in sleepy [amnesty] town
There’s no place for a street fighting man
No